Workout of the Day

Anyone who knows me, knows I love health and fitness. Unfortunately, I had to put my exercise regimen on hold for awhile. This past summer due to stress I had lost way too much weight and then when I attempted to work out, I just lost more. Not the goal for me. So instead of working really hard in the gym, I worked really hard in the kitchen. Breakfast: carbs. Lunch: carbs. Dinner: carbs. 

Six months later, I managed to gain a little weight and I can safely get back into the working out without being too nervous of going skeletal again. 

So today, I tried working out. It didn't quite go as planned. 

Warm-up: It's been awhile so I figured I should have a little cardio warm-up first. I attempted to go jogging outside. You know what? It was cold. You know what else? It was uphill and that wasn't going to happen. I came back inside and decided to opt for the eliptical instead. You know what? It's sooooooo boring. I don't understand how people can use stationary equipment, it was the worst 60 seconds of my life. Yea, 60 seconds was all I could take on that thing, don't judge.

The HIIT: Round One. I was pumped and ready to go. I set my timer and began my first round. Unfortunately, my cat decided to join me and during the burpees I kicked him in the head. I spent the next 5 minutes of that round apologizing to him and giving him way more treats than I should have. 

Round Two: This round had to go better. But it didn't. I was in a newer home and I miscalculated the height of the ceiling fan and my jumping capability. I whacked my hand so hard on the fan that I was howling like a werewolf. I spent the next 5 minutes of that round rolling around on the ground like Peter Griffin. 

Round Three: By this time, I have done very little exercise. But that didn't stop my body heat from rising which then brought on a lovely attack of my exercise-induced anaphylaxis. What does that mean? It means I get hives when I exercise. It's absurd. I have a really mild case of it, but it comes on every now and then and stress helps it along. So round three was spent applying cold towels to my arms.

Round four: You want to know where round 4 was spent? It was spent on the couch. With a glass of wine.

And that concludes my workout for the day.

Six Times My Cat Was A Butthead

I really don't mind being a crazy catlady. We all have to be known for something and if being associated with cats is my thing, I'm okay with it. Luca is my baby. I found him in the garage 13 years ago and he was the runt of the litter. I never imagined that tiny little kitten was going to turn into a massive 20 lb ball of trouble. But as much as I adore him, he can be a real butthead at times.

1. He unwrapped all the Christmas presents. Twice. As if him digging into the presents immediately after I wrapped them wasn't enough, just for good measure, he did it again the day before Christmas Eve. And he didn't just rip one or two of them open, he made sure to get every single present. Even the two I had placed in bags, he graciously tore the tissue paper up and chewed up the bags. Thank you, Luca.

2. He ate the red velvet cupcake. In fact, given the opportunity, he would eat all the cupcakes, in any amount. This one particular time, I had made a beautiful red velvet cupcake topped with cream cheese frosting and several fondant hearts. I left the room for about 45 seconds. Upon returning, Luca was sitting about 3 feet from the plate, his face covered in crumbs and frosting. He was staring in the other direction as if he didn't do it. As if someone else had sneaked into my home and ate the cupcake within that 45 second time frame. That was a gift for a friends birthday. Now all I had was a empty plate with a few crumbs. Thank you, Luca.

3. He made me cuddle with bread. Luca has always been a cuddler and I have always been thankful for that. I hear too many people complain about how their cats are always hiding somewhere and don't like snuggling. Luca sleeps with me every night and regardless of how or where he is, he must always have a paw on me somewhere, even if it's just a slight touch. I remember one morning waking up and adjusting my arm around him, pulling him a little closer to me. When I did this, I realized he felt funny. He wasn't soft and fluffy, he was cold and odd feeling. I rolled over and opened my eyes to find that I was hugging a bag of bread. I sat up and saw the bag ripped open and bread crumbs all over my bed. Luca was sleeping in the other corner, away from the bread. I got out of bed and followed the trail - bread pieces and crumbs from my bed, down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Thank you, Luca.

4. He ruins my baths and showers. Luca has always liked water. Giving him a bath has never been an issue and when he was smaller he would actually jump in the toilet and play in the toilet water. I learned quite quickly to keep the lids down. Anytime I take a bath, I ask myself why I even bother. Why do I bother spending the time to run the water to fill up the tub when the chances are, Luca is going to jump in there before I do. Sometimes, if I'm lucky and he doesn't hear the water running, I can actually relax in the hot bath for a few minutes before he comes running in and jumping in the water. Always my cue to be done. As for showers, he likes to come in and just stand there. I used to pick him up and put him out but he'd just keep coming right back in. Now I just gently turn him around so at least he's not just standing there staring at me. Thank you, Luca.

5. He stole my Invisalign tray. In case you are not sure what an Invisalign tray is, it is a dental tray, similar to a retainer, that helps fix minor flaws. You take them out when you eat. The first week I got mine, I had already misplaced my container for them so I set them on a napkin in the corner of the table so I could eat a quick snack. After finishing my snack and rinsing off my dishes I came back to the table for my trays. They were gone. I immediately flipped out, thinking I had accidentally thrown them out in another napkin, then I saw one on the floor. I thought that was strange. Then I heard a noise. A crunching noise. Sure enough, there was Luca, hiding under the table, chewing on my other tray. Gross. Ick. Ew. Thank you, Luca. 

6. He dyed his hair. And my carpet. The first time I ever attempted to dye my hair at home, I somehow thought it would be easier to rinse it in the tub. FYI- I was wrong. I flipped my head over the tub and turned the water on. But if you read #4, you would remember that Luca likes baths. As soon as he heard the water come on, he came running up the stairs. As my head was upside down and I was rinsing the black dye out, I could hear his 20 lbs stomping through the hallway - then SPLASH! Into the tub. Unfortunately, it took him a few moments to realize what a mistake he made. The water was black from the dye and the smell burned his eyes. Soaking wet, and covered in black water, he jumped out and ran out of the room. I couldn't follow him because I had my own issues rinsing out that black dye. By the time I was upright again and a towel was around my head, I was able to follow the trail of black on my beige carpet and locate Luca attempting to clean himself on my beige couch. His coat was now blotched with black spots. As was my couch. Thank you, Luca.  

I left out all the times he's punched my fork out of my hand and then ate my food off my plate when I got up to get a new fork. And all the times I found him in the garbage can just digging around. Or the time he barked at the appliance repair man because he forgot he was a cat. I didn't mention the time he ate three vegan pumpkin cookies that my student made specially for me. Or the time he chewed open a bag of brown rice and decided to swing it around until rice was everywhere. And all the times he's stolen my keys, hair ties and Chapsticks and placed them in the toilet. As much trouble as he can get into, he's still my baby, and I just love him. Nevermind that he is, as I'm typing, knocking everything off my kitchen table. Thank you, Luca.